


in unforgiving precarious ways

by kimaracretak



Series: the glory and the scum [2]
Category: Star Trek: The Next Generation
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/F, Past Relationship(s), fey ladies and not so diplomatic diplomacy, romulan history and culture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-10
Updated: 2017-04-10
Packaged: 2018-10-16 09:02:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,315
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10568037
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kimaracretak/pseuds/kimaracretak
Summary: (wake from your secret slumber / here comes the tide): The first time theEnterprisemet a Romulan ship, its commander hadn't seemed to recognise her. The second time, Commander Toreth asks for Deanna by name, and her voice holds the weight of a hundred and nine histories.Or; The way to stop the end of the world is shaped an awful lot like an alliance with someone Deanna was supposed to kill thirty years ago





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [AreYouReady](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AreYouReady/gifts).



> Title from Delain, '[The Glory and the Scum](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vtaVKW5N_VE)', summary quote from Xandria, 'When the Walls Came Down', Romulan words nicked from [here](http://www.rihan.org/drupal/common_words/index)
> 
> Technically part 2 of a series, but the only context you really need is that this takes place in an AU where Deanna was always a Romulan agent onboard the _Enterprise_ , and Q's taken a special interest in her and Tasha for Reasons
> 
> ....i am not sure what definition of 'ship' i hit but i hope you like it anyway!

Rakal's demands for message drops increase after the devastation of the Neutral Zone bases. Deanna doesn't particularly mind, is, in fact, in favour of it; warmed by the tendrils of relief that curl through her every time one of her fellow agents confirms receipt, confirms they're alive, safely away from the hollowed out corpses of once-proud stations.

But more and more of Rakal's message have a subtext of, _confirm the Federation was behind this,_  and Deanna's impatience with her handler's short-sightedness grows with every passing day.

*

"Is this what Q warned us about, do you think?" Tasha asks her hardly a week later in Ten Forward. It's the first moment they've had alone since returning from the Neutral Zone.

Tasha blinks  _one two-two three one-one three two_ , Q's rhythm and Q's promise, and Deanna doesn't meet her eyes as she draws patterns in her ice cream with chocolate sauce. "I think it's part of it," she says slowly. "If it was another test, ey would've shown up by now to gloat, don't you think?"

Tasha sighs, looks around the lounge as if expecting Q to appear at the mere mention of eir name. "I don't know. I don't know if _Q_  knows."

Cold settles in Deanna's stomach, and she doesn't answer. She kisses Tasha fleetingly as she leaves to get changed for her shift, sticky-sweet from the ice cream, and for half a second everything is quiet. For once, it isn't a comfort.

 

***

 

The first time the _Enterprise_  met a Romulan ship, its commander hadn't seemed to recognise her. The second time, Commander Toreth asks for Deanna by name, and her voice holds the weight of a hundred and nine histories.

"This isn't what our governments agreed to, Commander," Picard says, and Deanna wonders that the distaste in his words isn't immediately obvious to everyone listening.

"They agreed we would work out the details of how to coordinate an investigation into the destroyed outposts along the Neutral Zone," Toreth says, but her eyes don't leave Deanna's. "I would like to work out those details with your diplomatic officer."

Deanna stands fluidly and puts on her best smile, her _counselor's_  smile. "It's not an unreasonable request, Captain. Besides, I sense no deception." He doesn't need to know that deception is the the least dangerous thing about Toreth.

"You should take security, at _least._ " Tasha, leaning over the security panel with an earnestness that would be charming if Deanna trusted her. "Captain, let —"

"You'll learn what you need to." Toreth's voice, out of rhythm, out of time.

Deanna shuts her eyes, breathes  _one two-two three one-one three two_. "A gesture of trust." She opens her eyes. "I'll see you planetside, Commander."

When the viewscreen shuts off, Picard's eyes are narrow with concern. "That wasn't your call to make, Counselor."

Deanna softens her Betazoid face as much as possible, wishes for a simpler command structure. "She wanted me, Captain. Of course it was. You can try to keep me from doing my job, if you like..." It's more true than she'd like to think, Toreth's decades-younger face from an early assignment sheet burned into her memory in a way nothing since has been able to erase.

" _My_  job is to protect my crew," he says, but he nods to Data, and the transporter beam dissolves her smirk before it can truly form.

 _His_  crew, indeed. Deanna's seen handlers on their third day of training keep agents safer.

 

***

 

The woman lounging in the meeting room waiting for her isn't Toreth.

"Major." Deanna settles her hand on her phaser, flicks it subtly to _kill._  "Which of us are you watching?"

Rakal shrugs. "Don't make me reconsider my first answer of _just Toreth_ , Deanna."

"I can handle her."

"Mm. And if you want your assignment to end, you will."

For a moment, Deanna's speechless. To threaten to strand an agent was nearly unheard of, and she wonders, against the rising drumbeat in her head, exactly what Toreth's done in the years since she last saw her. " _Ssuaj-ha,_ " she finally says, remembering the formal suffix just in time.

Rakal smirks, doubtless picking up through their bond just how close Deanna had been to misspeaking. " _Khnai'ru rhissiuy_ ," she replies, and disappears just as Toreth materialises in a swirl of green energy.

" _Shaoi kon,_ " Toreth says, and this time does not meet Deanna's eyes.

" _Shaoi ben_ ," Deanna says, and tries not to think about how the last time she greeted someone in Rihan, it had been Q wearing her Empress's face. "You've learned manners since we last spoke."

"I wonder why," Toreth sneers. "Look at you, all grown up and off to join the Federation."

Deanna clicks her tongue, disappointed. "Jealousy, Toreth? From what I hear, you're lucky to be alive."

Toreth steps forward, a presence like a sigh, and Deanna's breath catches in her throat. "I'm as loyal to the Empire as I always was. You're the one who ran away."

Deanna slaps her then, open palm a sharp _crack_  against Toreth's cheek. Toreth reels back, grinning, and Deanna bites her lip as she watches Toreth's blood rise green against her skin. Toreth's eyes are gleaming with satisfaction. "Well, well, Starfleet hasn't turned you completely soft again."

"I was never soft," Deanna snaps, but she can hear Rakal laughing dimly in the back of her mind.

"You were _something_ ," Toreth murmurs, and she's close again, too close, fingers trailing up Deanna's arm rough even through the fabric of her uniform, rough like home. "I almost missed you. I think I missed you most when I hoped you were dead."

Deanna swallows hard, eyes locked on Toreth's fingers which are not tapping  _one two-two three one-one three two_  against her skin. "Well," she says, and her voice cracks on all the things she would say if Rakal wasn't so, so close. "Unfortunately for you, I''m not."

Silence waits heavy between them for long moments, silence of the past like a grave neither knew how to fill. A grave that someone — _something_ — has filled for them, with the bodies of innocent Romulans who had only wanted to protect their home. "Why are you here?" Deanna finally asks. They only have moments, before Rakal tips her hand or someone on the _Enterprise_  gets impatient, but she has to  _know._

Toreth's lip curls. "When the Tal Shiar shows up at your door and says they need you to meet someone, _for the good of the Empire_ , you listen or you die. Sometimes both."

 _Only if we're sure you can't be persuaded, can't be useful in other ways,_  Deanna might have said, to a different sort of commander, but her head is still pounding, _one two-two three one-one three two_. Quieter than sometimes, quiet like maybe Q's around, or maybe like ey _wants_  her to be here, on this nowhere planet with this halfway traitor.

To Toreth, she simply says, "Your father was a traitor." She grabs Toreth's chin, sinks blunt nails into her skin and admires the way Toreth's breathing quickens despite herself. "You're doing something to reclaim your family's honour."

"I'd rather have your bones," Toreth says, but her voice is low and she does not pull away. "I could build something from them that could protect our Empire better than your intelligence. You think these outposts are the first blood on your people's hands?"

Deanna licks her lips. Threat or challenge, Toreth's words are tugging at too many parts of her that haven't felt alive since the last time she spoke to Q. "They pay for their mistakes," she says. "Who is going to pay for this one?"

Toreth brings a hand up, closes her fingers around Deanna's wrist and still does not move away. "Oh," she breathes. "Oh, I can work with that."

Deanna smiles, and smiles, and smiles as she feels the futures fall open around them, _one two-two three one-one three two_.


End file.
